im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
