when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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