I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
