Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
