his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
