I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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