Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
