sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
