can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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