I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
