So drunk its hurt
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
