i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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