Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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