I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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