You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My balls are so social today.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
