it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
