I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Randomize
