Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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