i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
