Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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