you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
