I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
