a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
