new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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