Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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