i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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