Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
