i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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