I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
