David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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