I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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