I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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