Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
