the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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