Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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