i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
