I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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