woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
