i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just found a bag of teeth...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
