Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
