So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
