I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
