To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
