So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This toilet bowl is my home.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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