dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
