Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
