i love accidental penises.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
