she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
