So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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