NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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