HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
