he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
