whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
