She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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